I am closest to God in my tears

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Most of my friends would simply call me a cry baby…I cry over EVERYTHING! Movies, guys, food, laughing too hard, sweet children, basically life itself could make me cry. I’m not sure why, I just get overly emotional, especially when it’s with my friends. People may find this annoying, but I find it a gift.

Yes. I call it a gift because many people (although not bad in any way) don’t understand how to empathize with someone…which is alright. As long as you’re there for them, it means the world to them.

But why am I saying this? Last night I made a very tough decision, and you can probably assume what I did. Yes…I cried. Why? Because I realized in that moment that my plans were about to change.

It says in James 4:13-14 “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit. Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” But, unfortunately, I am guilty of making year-long plans, and when those plans change, I cry. Because I realize I made a mistake…God has a bigger and better plan for me, but I try so often to change it with my own plans and then find out later on that it does not work out.

A lot of times I feel like I’ve got this whole life thing figured out…I mean I’m 20 years old, so clearly I’ve lived long enough to know how life works, and don’t really need anyone telling me what to do…..besides my parents I guess.

WRONG!

The whole point of being a daughter the One true King (as Matthew West put so well in his song, “Hello my name is”), is being dependent on my Father to guide my steps.

I got the Bible verse of the day from Youversion sent to my phone, and it was so convenient. “The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9. I can sit here and plan out my entire life, but in the end the Lord will direct my steps. Sometimes I may walk beside Him, and other times I may be clawing the ground, but both times I will be in tears. Because deep down I know God’s way is better than mine, and although I may not understand what He’s doing, His sovereignty over my life and plans is inscrutable, and although I may sit here at night and cry myself to sleep because I know He’s changing my plans, I know His plans are way better than mine.

Sarah S.

Psalm 37:4 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.

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