I would wait for you, if you asked me to

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They were friends, just friends, simply just friends. But much more was coming, more than both could comprehend.

For that one day when she looked in his eyes, she wanted to be his for the rest of their lives.

For on that day she wept and she wept, because of her heart, on that day, he had kept.

“How can’t he know? He must know how I feel.” She knew in her heart that her feelings were real.

“I’ll love him forever and ever.” She said. But the thoughts of refusal stayed stuck in her head.

She had not the hope that he thought of her too I mean…was he actually thinking of her so much too?

Then one beautiful evening, when the stars were out twinkling, they met under the sky into each other’s eyes, gazing.

“My friend, my dear friend I think of you often, but my heart isn’t ready to feel your hand knocking.”

“I cannot give you what you desire most, until my heart’s ready to love you foremost.”

She closed her eyes and took his hand in her own, to tell him she loved him more than anyone can know.

She said something simple, something beautifully new. “I would wait for you.” She said. “If you asked me to.”

Sarah Skepple 

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I Knew You…I Know You…And You Are Free

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When I think of the day of my salvation I think of it kind of like a courtroom scene. So this is a little story I created to help you understand what I think of when I think of the day that God saved me, it’s not real of course, I’m not saying I’m God (thank goodness), just my thoughts 🙂

My child.

Do you remember the day that you became Mine?

I will put it in words that will help you understand: My courtroom.

You were lying on the floor…dead.

I sat before my Son and before your enemy.

The charges were great in number; your prosecution went something like this: “Almighty, great God. You call yourself righteous, the “good” Judge, perfect…that’s the word. But how can you be perfect, the good God, if you allow…her into your midst? Look at her…she’s dirty, filled with hate, rebellious, a gossiper and that’s only some of what goes on on the outside…on the inside she’s angry, has lustful thoughts, backstabbing…how can you love her? How can you accept her? You’re being hypocritical…you can’t allow her…”

I’m not going to lie, I cannot lie. I was angry. He was right about you, I am God. I knew you before you were born, and I know you. Everything he said was true about you. What your enemy did not know is this won’t be the last time you would be accused. I am God, who is righteous, and cannot allow the stench of sin in My presence. I am an angry God, I am a jealous God, but what your enemy forgot was that I am a loving God.

It was my Son’s turn…He was your defense.

He stood in front of you, right in front of you, in a way that I could not see you, I could only see Him. He turned around to look at you and closed His eyes. He was remembering the day He died. He remembered the betrayal, the accusations, the nails, and the day I turned My back from Him. The moment He truly felt the separation from Me…His own Father. You can’t know it or understand it because you were born in sin. You will never know what it’s like to be in perfect harmony with Me until the Day I call you home. I love my Son.

As He stood before me, in between you and Me He simply said: “I died for her.”

The gavel dropped and the case was closed.

My Son carried you, He cleaned you, He brought you to me and I placed a clean, and new heart in you…and just like that you awoke. You were a new person. I remember the first breath you took with your new heart. You were re-born.

Did you forget you were mine? Did you lose your way? You WERE dead. You are no longer dead, you are Mine. You are Mine forever. I picked you. I chose you to be Mine. I love you and a Day is coming where we will be together forever, but until that time, don’t lose your way. Trust me. I have your days planned out, I know your future. You don’t. You don’t have to worry, you don’t have to be angry, you don’t have to be scared. I’ve got you. I’ve got your life planned out, I remember the day you took your breath and I know the day you’ll take your last breath. I love you. I’ll love you forever. I knew you…and I know you…and you are free.

 

Romans 8: 1-5, “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has SET YOU FREE from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.”

Psalm 103:8-13 “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according our sins, Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”

We are FREE friends! Free of guilt, shame, sin, the enemy, ourselves, we are free! And “who can stop the Lord almighty!” He is coming for us! Our Father is coming for His beloved children! Nothing can stop Him. He has won the battle over literally EVERYTHING! He’s coming, hold on, He is coming!

John 14:1-3 “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.”

How are we to live? We are to live with our eyes, ears, hearts, and lives focused on bringing glory to God in however way He wants us to. You are forgiven and free, live in the freedom! Don’t take advantage of it, but live in it!

Thanks for reading!

Sarah S.

The Chronicles of Aksel

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In the land of Kang, we have four Elders: Two males and two females. We have never seen their faces before, for if we look into their eyes all memory is lost for the one who looked the deepest into their eyes. The Elders come to Kang from time to time. We are given warning of their appearance, but there are some who do not make it in time…my father was one of them; we found him wandering near the Kudlo Forest, he couldn’t even remember his own name. A Racker was about to take him , but my sister and I found him just in time.

They’re dangerous…Rackers. They are hunchback beasts with claws like iron, and six-inch razor sharp teeth…they have a paralyzing death screech…if it reaches your ears you are paralyzed and that’s when they take you. This Racker did not let out a paralyzing death screech…I never understood why. But this is not a story of my father, this is a story about me…my name is Aksel, it means father of peace. One day I was searching for food near the Kudlo Forest when I heard what sounded like quieted, almost majestic sounding voices. Do you know what I mean by majestic? Their voices were deep, loud, clear, calm…proud. I moved closer, mesmerized by the voices, to see who they belonged to…then I saw them. The four Elders, they were dressed in crimson red and gold, with crowns upon their heads, standing elegantly in a dark clearing of the forest. They appeared to be talking to a Racker. I tried to move closer but the Racker saw me and screeched its paralyzing death screech. I covered my ears, and closed my eyes, panicking as I could not move any further! Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, it stopped. Still holding my hands over my ears I lifted my head, opened my eyes, and looked straight into the eyes of a female Elder and fell to the ground. When I woke I was on a bed, and a woman was sitting next to me: her eyes were red and black, stained with dry tears and constant rubbing. It was my mother…but how could I remember that? I sat up confused. She looked at me with sadness then asked a simple question, “what is your name?” She looked down as the words rolled off her lips, she rubbed her achy hands across her knees. She was wearing her green dress again, the one my father gave to her. She knew the answer I was going to give to her; she heard her husband say it to her only 3 years past. “My name is Aksel.” I remember saying, my mother immediately looked at me with confusion and disbelief. I could not believe it either. But my memories were still…here. I remembered everything, so again I repeated, “my name is Aksel, it means father of peace. You named me after my grandfather…..Mother….I remember everything.”

Dreaming on the Country Road

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Think of autumn leaves slowly swirling to the ground to join their friends.

Think of the tall trees.

Picture the bark tearing from the trees.

Look up.

Look how tall they are.

Their branches are bare, like rising knives stabbing at the sky.

Look down.

What do you see?

I see a country road.

It’s long and winding.

It never ends.

It’s surrounded by dead leaves, trees, and hopeful dreams.

Visions of old times, sights of today, and thoughts of new life.

I was made for this road. The hopeful road. The dreamy road. The never ending road. The old road. The country road.

Your life is a fish bowl…pt. 2

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This may not make sense to you if you didn’t read my previous post, but everything I mentioned there…STEREOTYPES.

Let’s start with our parents…

My Daddy’s a Pastor…and a good one! I used to hear people tell me all the time how blessed I was to have him as my Dad…and yes I am blessed! 🙂 I had the privilege of growing up in a Christian home with BOTH my parents who loved the Lord…and even more so blessed that my Dad preaches what the Bible says, and does not try to bend it or fabricate it. As all dads are, or definitely should be, he cared for me and my siblings. There were times obviously that we thought he was being overprotective, but that over-protectiveness was love and care…and I’m so thankful for it.

It’s always a typical stereotype that when we were young we went to bed at 8:30 P.M….especially on Saturday nights because “you can’t fall asleep in church!”, I don’t really ever remember a time that we were forced to go to bed at 8:30…I wish we had though, I LOVE SLEEP.

Sadly what is somewhat true is that no one wants to be friends of a Pastor’s kid, but not because of us…it’s because of our Dad! Everyone’s threatened by the fact that our Dad is the Pastor that they don’t want to say or do anything around us…we don’t tattle tale!..except on our siblings 🙂

Although I have to be honest my siblings and I definitely thought the words “stupid” and “shut up” were curse words so we never spoke them…I think it’s good we were so threatened to say it to other people, and our parents because those aren’t very nice words anyway.

And yes we were very sheltered…but that just comes with how we were raised. There’s a lot of things that children shouldn’t and don’t need to know until they’re of age to understand it. That was WISE, not ridiculous.

Let me tell you the truth. I LOVE being a PK. I couldn’t have asked for a better life. Let me tell you how God blessed me:

  1. I have 3 siblings.
  2. I grew up in a Christian home.
  3. My dad’s a Pastor.
  4. My mom is submissive to my Dad, and showed me and my sister what it means to be a good wife.
  5. My church is so supportive of my family, every week it’s “how are you doing?” “How can we pray for you?” “How has your week been?” There’s so much love and support anyway, but even more so for us because we are the Pastor’s family.

Those are just a few things…and I’m still learning as I go through life as a Pastor’s Kid…someone told me a while back, “your life is a fish bowl.” People are always watching, and sometimes waiting for you to trip and fall…the sad thing is we will fall and we do fall. We’re not perfect, we’re just normal people who’s Daddy stands in the pulpit every Sunday, thankfully preaching the truth!

Sarah Skepple

P.S. I want you to know that my Daddy’s a goof…it’s where I get my weirdness from but I love him. I am most definitely a Daddy’s girl! 🙂

Dear Future Husband, I pray for you every night pt. 2

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“For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.” Matthew 19:12

I never understood this verse. I’ve heard it maybe a couple of times, and then once in one of my dad’s sermons. At the dinner table on that Sunday afternoon I asked him what it meant. He said, “Some are single by the divine secret Will of God, some are single by the decisions of others, some are single by personal choice for the sake of the Kingdom. But it’s very important to keep this verse in its context.” (I would suggest reading Matthew 19 as a whole).

I remember my heart almost dropping out of my chest when I heard that. ‘There are some people who WANT to be married but aren’t going to be?’ That thought is enough to drive someone insane. Anxiety, frustration, and anger come with that if it’s not combated with the truth.

Self-pity. In a book called “Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?” it talked about self-pity and how harmful it is. Carolyn McCulley quotes John Piper, “The need of self-pity does not come from a sense of unworthiness, but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness. It is the response of unapplauded pride (p. 60).” Reading that convicted my heart. I sadly have to say most of the tears I cried were due to my self-pity, my thinking that I deserve something, it’s shameful even saying it now, but God….

God in His mercy has given me such a wonderful mother who knows what to say in the moments when I’m feeling at my worst. She called me to her room one day to ask what was wrong, through tears I tried to explain, and justify, my feelings of loneliness, self-pity, and feeling left out…

She joined me with tears saying I didn’t have to worry, I’ll never forget what she said, “I know you want to be married and have kids, but you have to be patient. Before the foundations of the world God planned your whole life! He saw this day, and He saw tomorrow. He knows what He’s doing, and He has a reason for it. You can’t fill your head with lies, you’re not alone. You’re going to look back on this day and understand all of it, just be patient.”

I love my mom. She always knows what to say in these moments, I believe the words that come from her mouth in these moments are truly from God.

After these talks with my mom I always feel so much better. While I can’t write down everything my mom has taught me about prayer, and patience, another major thing she has taught me is to trust God. I know and understand that, while most women get married, some may not. Another great quote from Carolyn’s book is, “God may change your assignment [singleness] and calling, or you may find that, as the years go by, you are increasingly contented with being single. There’s grace for being so gifted either way.” This gave me so much hope, and confidence. God is good isn’t He? He gives us the grace and mercy to BE content in whatever situation we’re in…as Paul says in 1 Cor. 7. If Paul could be content in whatever circumstance, and he was a human, I (we) can be in our singleness.

Of course my mom cannot promise me that marriage is what God has for me, but she taught me that prayer is powerful. “Are you praying for your future husband?” She asked. “Are you praying that God would make you to be the woman/wife God wants you to be?” Before this time I had never prayed for that, I sometimes prayed for myself being the woman, but I never really prayed for him.

What if he doesn’t exist? Should I still pray for him?

While reading one of my favorite bloggers, Phylicia Delta’s blog, she explains the importance of still praying for your future husband…(please go read her blog!) Do we know if he exists or not? Of course not but that should not stop us from praying for him. We don’t know God’s plan for our lives, but one thing we do know is that we are to bring Him glory, it’s only God’s decision if marriage (for you and for me) will bring Him glory. Ahh trust. Trust God because He truly knows what’s best for us.

I’ve dropped the ball sometimes, but I try to, every night, pray for my future husband. I pray for his salvation, if he is unsaved at the moment. I pray for his relationship with the Lord, that it would be strong. I pray for the moments when he’s down, frustrated, angry, and/or sad that he would find comfort in the Lord, because the Lord is the only one who can give us the comfort we need, no human can, only the Lord…and it’s so great to serve a good God who loves His children. I pray for his leadership, and respect for his parents and the adults in his life. It’s not much but it brings me a lot of joy that, if marriage is something God has for me, I can tell my husband that I prayed for him.

Sarah Skepple

Checkout my previous post “Dear Future Husband, I pray for you every night pt. 1.”

Dear Future Husband, I pray for you every night pt. 1

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If I hear someone tell me one more time, “Sarah when you meet your future husband you’ll just know.” I may try to ACTUALLY attack them

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KNOW WHAT?

Will a light go off in my brain?

Will he be turning his head a certain way?

Will I see our future kids when I look into his dreamy eyes?…(maybe)

What is IT? Obviously some sort of magic happens when you meet your future husband…right? But what if I already thought that I kinda felt it before? Then I’m like PSYYYYYYYCH it’s not that guy!

So what do I do then?

What should I do then?

I convince myself he exists, in convincing myself of this, I’ve believed that God owes me that much.

I used to wonder what was going through God’s mind when He hears that thought in my head…how much pain I was causing just by not being thankful for what I have, and even thinking that God owed ME something?

CRAZINESS!

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11.

This Psalm burned in my brain when I read it. ‘Is it not a good thing to get married?…Is it not a good thing for ME to get married?’ I ask myself all the time ‘what’s wrong with me?’ I mean obviously it’s not good for me to be married, so I have to prepare now to be alone forever. I’ve spent long nights in tears: angry, frustrated, confused, sad…all because I had convinced myself that every time a guy broke my heart, every time a guy told me “you’re my friend,” every time I watched all of my siblings and friends get into relationships (or even a person of the opposite sex have feelings for them) it was a sign…a long road preparing me for lifelong singleness.

I’m only 21 and I’ve watched 15 year old’s holding hands with their boyfriends, 18 year old’s walk down the aisle toward the love of their life…and 20 year old’s lovingly looking into the eyes of their first child. My heart grew dark with envy and jealousy. I stayed off social media “that’ll help” I told myself. If I can’t see the pictures or posts I won’t feel anything…then sooner or later I’ll accept the fact that I’m going to be single forever.

I was wrong to assume that my problem lied within Facebook. My problem lay within my heart. Even when I stayed off for two weeks at a time, my thoughts never stopped. I was just so angry with God, and what He was putting me through (because God TEMPTS us to sin right?…WRONG!)….

(to be continued)